Over the last week, my Borderline took over my life. Fear consumed my every thought, and rejection and failure flooded my every move. I beat myself so badly I slept for three whole days. This morning when I woke up, my body was weak and sore, and I was more than angry with myself. How many times would I let my BPD win? I should be patting myself on the back; I am not wreaking havoc on my life. I’m not plotting my suicide because I feel that worthless. I am, however, cowering to the thought of rejection and abandonment that hasn’t even transpired yet. Worrying about the outcome before I have made the first move. After Worrying, I spend hours beating myself up for letting myself down. Why do I do this to myself? Urg… I finally got the courage to do the frightening task I was so fearful to attempt. I picked up my phone, made a few calls, and sent out a few texts. The rejection I was so afraid of never showed its frightening face. I stopped my life for days held up on the couch over nothing. Folks this is BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER at it’s finest!

6 thoughts on “MY BPD GOT THE BEST OF ME

  1. I know those feelings well. I’ve gotten better though at telling myself in those terrible moments that the feelings are just temporary it will all be over soon 😕

      1. Ahh, I have heard so much about it; unfortunately, in my tiny community, it’s not offered. I do have what I call a team and my nurse I can call during operating hours who im beginning to trust. Most of the research I have found says it can take ten years to recover. I just received a diagnosis. I need to give myself more credit. Today is a good day, so it comes naturally to pat myself on the back. Tell me more about how DBT WORKS

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