Being A Voice Even When It’s Hard

I am told I am an irrelevant nobody. I am a nobody, just trying to be a voice for the rest of the people you call nobody! Yes, I heard this for the first time, and boy did it hurt. I was tempted to stop everything I had been working so hard on and give it all up. Money I just paid to ramp up my new podcast. Video camera I haven’t even received yet I recently purchased for my YouTube channel. I was willing for a brief second, only to trash it all. My fear of rejection and failure stand toe to toe with abandonment, and the three of them had me backed in a corner in an unfair fight. Somehow I won. I defeated the undefeated heavyweight champions. There was absolutely no way I was going to let them win after everything I had worked so hard for and accomplished. Not these accomplishments for myself, but every quarter-mile of Rocky Road, I am smoothing out with pavement for another life, that is why I can’t stop. If I were to give up and throw it all away, I would be failing! I’d be failing 5lthe one listener, reader, or religious video watcher the hope they were building. I’d be abandoning them and doing the same thing that had been done to me all those times. I just can’t do that because, at the end of the day, that makes me no better than the crowd that tried so hard to make me believe my words we’re irrelevant, and I was useless.

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The Borderline in Me

I am a 32-year-old female who received a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder in late September 2019. After being wrongfully diagnosed most of my existence as many other borderline patients have, it was almost a relief. Shortly after, it felt more like another bomb of worthlessness went off. I felt cursed until I decided it was time to speak up. I am one of many created borderlines. The trauma from my history created inside of me a blessing or a curse. I am choosing to make use out of my BPD instead of letting it overpower my will to survive it. When the professional compared it to third-degree burn victims all over there, body physicians nailed it. This pain we feel our emotions are not exaggerated, and most of us would give anything not ever to shed another tear. I want to help others and connect with those alike. I am here to share my story as my voice deserves to be heard and give courage for others to speak.

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