I’d like to start by introducing myself, and I go by the name Savannah. I am a suicide attempt survivor. Recently learned I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I do not call myself a writer, but a teller of stories. Writers have a gifted ability to pen perfect grammar and elegant patterns. I, however, forget commas use too many filler words and talk passively more than active. Telling stories comes naturally to me. I assume because they are mine and mine to tell. Breaking down events from details to exact smells. Remembering skin lines. I have many times memorized the hue of green, brown, and gold in the hazel eyes that starred through mine.
WHY I STARTED CREATED BORDERLINE
The burning question, I’m sure, though, is what my blog is about and why did I start one. In September 2019, after many years of depression and no coping skills, the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder labeled my medical chart. This was foreign to me, and the term personality disorder scared me the most. Throughout this journey, I will share the rawest and most real parts of my life. With this tiny fraction, I hope you can get to know me and the vision and mission I have set out on. With all the crazy going on in the world, one thing that seems to be overlooked by everyone is the increasing rate of mental health.
My Created Borderline Background
I come from a crummy childhood, abusive, and addicts for parents. Yes, I am a victim of child sexual assault and neglect. That is summarizing to get to the point. I have made plenty of mistakes, and for years, my thought process and how I did things were flighty. Not realizing until late 2019 that I differed from other humans on this earth. Not even realizing what I was doing was anything different from the majority.
MORE ABOUT ME
The three things in life I can’t do are dealing with abandonment, rejection, or failure. In 2017 I had reached the end of just well everything. I had enough. It felt like I had no one to talk to, and I was plain empty inside.
Everything I did seemed as if I did it wrong, and I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t accomplish any of my goals. I felt like I had no genuine friends. Most importantly, I didn’t understand why my family couldn’t look at me and see I was cracking. I could burst any second. So I did something I regret and always will. The consequences of what was to happen next didn’t matter, I had to know. So for the next three months, I went on with a lie I was sick and dying. I wanted to know if anyone would care at all if I lived or died.
The joke was on me because I got my answer to the people I wanted to know most did not care. Not only did I have that dangling in my face, but after taking enough medication to “kill a horse,” the doctor repeated. I have endured a great deal of pain and absolutely zero support system. That day was December 28, 2017, and I have been through literal hell and back to get to where I am. I will fight for myself and every other human of every race and gender using my voice and doing my part to make a difference.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
You are not alone! Life, a second chance, I am forever grateful for. I will do all I can to help others from walking that same line. Fighting for myself and those without a voice and prevent others from a reason to regret and hope they receive a second chance. Continually learning about Borderline Personality Disorder and sharing the knowledge and my experiences with others. I recently published a book and a second edition Let’s Talk About It: Word Vomit Volume I Edition II is officially out and heading to hard copy as well.
DECOR THAT DOES MORE
I have many creations in my collection of handmade decor. When Selling my items it gives me the opportunity to give back even more. I donate 75% of my profits to RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention afsp.org. I also start my own project called Project Fear Box. If you would like to see any of my designs check out my Created Borderline Designs page and contact me. If you would like to join my movement and be part of something bigger, subscribe and join me and the mission I am Leading. If you just want to be a part of a group you feel like you belong we can do that hear too. With a podcast, YouTube channel, and handcrafted decor, you won’t get bored. https://beyondtheborderline.net.